ESL teacher with Adult ADD (and parent of an ADD child): resources; experiences; concerns; and thoughts.

I just wanted to make a statement about me and my purposes here.

There are so many students out there that will not be diagnosed with ADD and will go through life, as I did, being called stupid, lazy, incompetent etc. sometimes by well meaning-ed people. Whose self-esteem will be pounded into the ground and will be subject to a life of failure and insecurity. I want to try to help at least one of them by informing my fellow teachers of what to look for and where to go for help.

I am a K-8 ESL teacher at 2 schools in rural NW North Carolina. I am dually certified in AIG (gifted and talented). I speak Spanish pretty much fluently, can understand a little written and some very slowly spoken French and can understand several other romance languages. I took Russian in HS and college.

I am a mother of 3 boys and a wife.

Up until recently I thought I was an awful person because I never did what I was supposed to, got sidetracked easily, was late or missed appointments etc. Most of my teachers in school said I was very intelligent but ‘never worked up to my potential’, was lazy, sloppy, unorganized etc.
Later in life, after having the family and all the added responsibilities that went with that and a midlife career change (to teaching) I became depressed because of never being able to complete the things I wanted to; having a clean and organized house; not matter how I tried, getting it all together; paying bills on time; not bouncing checks right and left etc, etc, etc.

About a month ago (October 2007) my life started to change. My middle son’s teacher suggested he might be ADD. I thought I knew what it was. I said “Not my child!!!” He can sit in front of the TV for hours (so can I). If he is interested in something, he can focus (so can I). He is not hyper (neither am I). However when we did the survey on him I said “Holy cow!!! This is him!”

I dragged my heals about getting a doctor’s appointment for him. My husband and I said “No drugs! We don’t want him to change!” The teacher kept asking me if I had made the appt. so, just to get her off my back I did. Thank you for pushing me Mrs. West! You changed our lives for the better.

The Saturday before his appt. I bought a book that had been recommend to me at least a year before. I can’t even remember who recommended it. I had a torn off piece of envelope with the title and author ( Driven to Distraction by Edward M. Howell, MD and John J Ratey, MD). I happened to be at a big bookstore with a friend and fellow teacher, and two of my sons. I found the book and bought it.

I started reading it Sunday morning. I had suspected I might have ADD tendencies ever since I took the certification courses in AIG. The teacher of those courses must have suspected also because he directed me to several surveys and symptoms etc. He knew me well, knew when I wandered (we called it “look at the pretty butterfly syndrome” distracted by the irrelevant and random) and knew I couldn’t sit still for long. Anyway, after reading the first two case studies in chapter 1 of the book I was floored, elated, freaked-out, screaming for my husband. The first one described my husband and the second one described me. Both to a T. My husband read the first one and came back looking white. He said “Who is this guy and how does he have my life history?” I was convinced in reading the book that I was the poster child for Adult ADD. (My husband is not so bad.)

I took care of my son first. Poor kid, with both parents…We met the doctor and handed him the school papers suggesting the strong possibility of ADD. In talking to him about my son, his habits, his problems etc. I made a comment about me and the doctor said “And where did he get this from MOM?” Strongly hinting that I had it.

All of the reading and research I had done said that medication is the corner stone of treatment. It is to help the patient focus, not change personality. He is taking medication and said he felt a difference the first day. He could even tell when it was wearing off. He hasn’t brought home as much unfinished classwork. Things seem to be a little better.

I went back and talked to the doctor later, about me. He put me on medication Friday. Saturday and Sunday I cleaned the office, which was about 3 feet think in paper and debris from 5 people just dumping things – from sports stuff to 2 adults worth of college courses and school stuff, computer items, paper, books- you name it-a feat that was so impossible for me to even begin to contemplate before treatment.

I am very happy that I have a name for why I was not able to be like everyone else. Why I couldn’t do things or even start them. Why I was in remedial English all through HS and College, yet have a high IQ. Why, no matter how hard I tried, I would always forget things- important things, even classes. Why I was always told I wasn’t working as hard as I should. Why things didn’t make sense to me like they did to other people. Why math was such an issue. Why I did so many things, even eating, on impulse and couldn’t control myself. Why I could never pay my bills or deal with a checkbook.

I am not an awful person. I am not always in control of myself and that is scary, but now I know that there is hope for me. I want to help students avoid the years of self doubt and failure that I went through.